Saturday, November 14, 2009


By Luxo-D

Friends of TEAM SPROCKETS™, the "Secret Restoration Project" now has an official name. This endeavor from now on... shall be called..."PROJECT STROKER ACE!" Ah Ha, remember the 1978 Schwinn LeTour fix up job? Geez, funny how quickly you forget. Check it out girlfriend. Uhh hmm, it's finished. Sweet Georgia Brown, right? It wasn't easy, but I painted it up awesome and stuff and added sweet decals too.

That's right, the phrase was spawned recently during a visit to one of my local bike shops to obtain an estimate for assembly. The now infamous moniker was coined by none other than Major Drool on voice mail call back. Of course, this hot-shot also happens to be an awesome bike salesman. He could sell Lance Armstrong a 1978 Huffy Thunder Road for the next tour. Not me though, I'm an Exceptional Value Man!

Indeed, the secret project is in the final stages...or is it? It took a reluctant turn this week. As you know, I have made a delusional commitment to finish it. No expenses spared eh hem...? Let's face it; parts and labor are the KILLER of Hope, and the Concubine to Despair. It's not rational. So what can you do? For the moment, I shall... remain vigilant but cautious with stupidity.

Meanwhile... Major Drool, the savvy carpetbagger, taunts me with a GLORIOUS expensive machine – The Cannondale Synapse 3 All Carbon/2010 Ultegra! ART ON WHEELS... It is thee dream bike, literately, and a pretty penny too! "STOP MAJOR DROOL, I must complete the secret restoration project!" But, like the good sugar daddy he is, with his fancy heroin on wheels, he says to me..."Luxo-D you don't have to finish Project STROKER ACE...I got the good stuff right here." Dang he's good.

“Can I get that on layaway with 90 days interest free?”


  1. That turned out great. Really great. Nice work. I do have a question for you. One that perhaps should have been asked prior to your go forward decision. That frame has no cani mounts. This means you'll need to run road brakes on a cross bike. This also means your tire choice will be limited dramatically. Mud clearance, knobbies and all the other stuff that goes along with a cross bike. What's your plan stan?

  2. My PLAN is very sketchy to say the least. Single speed maybe? This may be one questionable cyclocross option. I may need to seek another secret alternative...which I have.

  3. Mount that sucker on the wall of your den. Like a stuffed elk or moose. Smoke a cigar, sniff a whisky, stand back and look at your er, um, project.

  4. Sweet Mary Macillagully!!
    Score one for Luxo and his dream bike: it's sweet
    like candy!

    But when did Team Sprockets decals show up on the
    menu?? I mean, if we can get a decal, that means
    we can get a tatoo right?? Talk about dreams...